Photo credit Romina Farías

The dictionary defines ‘rejection’ quite clinically as “dismissing a proposal”. I personally like to think of it as “a turn in a new direction; a direction we choose”. If reflected upon wisely, rejection can actually be helpful. It steers us towards living more in line with our values, hopes and dreams of the person we’d like to be.

Rejection can be seen as a favour

I’ve spoken about this concept previously on my Instagram. Someone’s rejection of us is often more a reflection on them than us — what was it about us that was so hard for them to see that they had to actively avoid…

UnSplash, Ben White

’Tis almost the season of new year resolutions, but strewth, I’m still working on making sense of the last 12 months, let alone planning for next year (is ‘planning’ a thing anymore?)

Every December, we find ourselves philosophising on life more than usual, but where do we even begin with 2020? Well, my 10-year high school reunion happened to take place a few months ago, and it brought me to reflect on a number of themes, which I feel are fairly universal and hopefully helpful.

The following self-reflective questions are timeless. However, with much of this year having been spent…

Are you stuck feeling regret, humiliation or helplessness? Uncomfortable emotions serve a purpose. They can guide us. Here’s how.

Photo by James Scott, UnSplash

A hard truth about the process of making change within ourselves is that until it hurts, we won’t budge. Until we feel the consequences of our actions, there’s little drive or motivation to change.

Emotional pain carries important messages

Feeling indifferent or dissatisfied with our life or ourselves isn’t enough to push us to make change. These ‘neutral’ feelings may bring us to notice that change is required, but it’s unlikely we’ll make those changes, at least not immediately.

It’s those ‘stronger’, difficult-to-reconcile emotions — like anger, humiliation, grief, regret and rejection — that move us. Therefore, when we stop trying to shut out or…

How to move from resistance to acceptance in order to thrive in life, rather than merely survive

Photo by Bruce Mars, UnSplash

Waking up to a nightmare

One morning in May 2017 I woke up to what felt like the weight of 10,000 hangovers. Except, I wasn’t hungover. For the next five weeks I struggled to even walk to my kitchen. My limbs were heavy. I was perpetually dizzy and on the edge of a migraine. I couldn’t hold a conversation. Suddenly my vocabulary seemed to have halved. I became hyper sensitive to light and sound. These were the early tell-tale signs of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), or myalgic encephalomyelitis.

What is a ‘crash’?

To varying degrees we’ve all experienced burnout. Have you had days where you’ve felt so weak with…

An article for fellow white folk committing to anti-racism

Photo by Shaojie, Unsplash

A disclaimer

I am a white Australian woman, writing this blog on Walyalup country, home to the traditional owners of this land, the Whadjuk Noongar people. As a narrative therapist and writer, I regularly talk and blog about topics of privilege, but never have I specifically written about race. Usually, I write about themes of love, loneliness, heartbreak, failure and finding purpose: things we might describe as *universal* human experiences.

I’m in the process of learning how to write (how to share useful information that advocates and drives positive social change) without centring the story on me, my experiences and my opinions…

Photo by Siora Photography, Unsplash

I can be an incredibly annoying person. When I’m stressed I fret about the smallest things. I second-guess my decisions and dwell on the past. I take things personally. I rarely trust my own instincts or capabilities and turn to at least 10 people for advice. I talk about the things that are bothering me like a stuck record until they’re 110% resolved.

I’m sure you’re thinking, phwoar, I’d love to be friends with this chick. Heeeell no. But that’s the point. …

Photo by Keenan Constance, Unsplash

Humour as a coping mechanism

I first drafted this piece as a self-deprecating satire, making light of my recent breakup. I then realised how unfair I was being on myself around the realities of breakups (in all honesty the global pandemic has made getting over my ex a billion times harder). Originally, my three piss-take tips on how to get over an ex during a global pandemic were:

  1. Move to the other side of the country and get the government to close its borders
  2. Download dating apps. Actually, delete them — you’re not allowed to meet new people because of physical distancing. Actually, download them…

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz, Unsplash

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-worth lately because, here’s a confession: I haven’t had much of it. Now, you might be anticipating a nice little story about how I rediscovered my self-worth. You might expect it to end with a cute listicle of my tips on how to cultivate your own. Sorry to disappoint. You won’t find that here.

If there’s one trend I want to disrupt on social media, it’s this: the habit we have of sharing hardships publicly only when they’ve drawn to an end and we’ve learnt some kind of sweet lesson. I’m not going into…

Photo by Toimetaja Tõlkebüroo, Unsplash

Before going through my first ever breakup (and therefore first ever relationship - the monogamous, long-term kind), I’d heard all kinds of stories about what to expect… As the cliché goes, I may have lost a lot, but I learnt a lot, too.

The breakup happened only a month ago. Yep, it’s super fresh. However, nothing helps me heal more than writing. Four years ago, before I’d been in a relationship of this kind (but serially dated and ran away from any sign of intimacy and commitment), I casually wrote a blog about relationships called The New Etiquette. In keeping…

Photo by Pawel Szvmanski, Unsplash

My experience with “focus” has been, for the most part, the opposite of what’s preached in the self-help world. Take, for example, the law of attraction. It’s this idea that things can be attracted into our lives through the sheer power of one’s mind. This idea also loosely ties in with positive psychology. Both say that through changing our “thinking” we can change how the world appears to us. The basis of such an approach is, in essence, common sense.

I mean, would you agree that we’re more likely to choose to spend time with someone who is in a…

Mim Kempson

Registered Counsellor & Narrative Therapist specialising in relationships, LGBTQI+ topics, chronic illness, self-connection & finding purpose.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store